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“True individuality occurs when the person is so centered in his relationship with the Infinite within himself that he feels a unity with all life, with all persons, and he is in love with everyone. He has no inner conflicts and so experiences none in his relationships.”–pg. 26
Unity of All Life–Eric Butterworth
The only differences between two people are the one’s that we place there. Just why do we focus on differences? I believe that it all comes down to how we feel about ourselves. People who are secure within themselves are more secure in relationships. Scripture states, “you will be judged by the same standard with which you judge others, and you will be measured by the same measure you use.” In other words…what goes around comes around. When we are hard on ourselves, we tend to be hard on others and when we are hard on others then we tend to be hard on ourselves. So, what is the solution?
First of all, it starts with learning to accept ourselves. We are human beings, not humans doing. It is okay to make mistakes. It is part of being human. The “L’s” in life are not losses. They are lessons. We learn the lesson, get the blessing from the experience and move on to the next lesson in life. Life is about learning and growing from the things that we learn.
Secondly, we have to learn to forgive ourselves. Hind sight is 20/20 vision. It is really easy to look back and say, “If I woulda…coulda..shoulda.” But, the reality is that we make the best decisions based on the information that is available to us at the point that we make decisions. If we knew better then certainly we would do better. However, we don’t have the benefit projecting into the future to look at the direct consequences of each of our decisons. The only way to learn sometimes is to learn from experience. It is a wise person who can learn from the experiences of other people and to apply those principles to their life. Unfortunately, most people think that their ways of looking at things is the right way and they don’t learn from the experiences of others. People tend to think that they are different and what might have applied for another person does not apply to them. So, we all make mistakes. We all have made some decisions that we learned to regret. This is a part of life. Let bygones be gone and focus on the present.
Finally, once we accept the fact that we are humans with frailties and we learn to forgive ourselves then we can learn to love ourselves. Keep in mind that you cannot give something that you don’t have. Scripture tells us that our creator so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son. Christianity is based on the fact that God loves us. Just like we are, with all of our shortcomings and failures in life…God loves us.
Learning to love ourselves means to honor all of our feelings and emotions. It means to be kind to ourselves, especially when it comes to our self-talk. Ultimately, it means to treat others in the way that we would want to be treated.